Funny....last night and tonight seem the same. I looked around last night to see different friends or groups talking and laughing. They were "a part" of something; a friendship, a brotherhood and a family. Tonight I see that others are asking to be "a part" of something also, a network. People/friends/family keeping in touch with each other.
Everyone wants to "belong". I, personally, want to know that I belong. I want the security that comes with belonging to my husband and children, to my mom, to my friends and family, and to my church. I want to KNOW that when I am with these people that I matter. My opinion matters. My vote counts. My love is returned.
Rejection is very painful....to say the least. I can't help but wonder just how Jesus felt while on this earth. I love the stories of Peter. I find that I am a lot like him. I can see me jumping out of that boat with sweet abandon just to look around and ....well, panic.
Peter was one of the Lord's favs: His brother, His friend, His disciple. One of the people in His life that should have been there no matter what. He should have been the person that the Lord could count on to protect His name and His life, but Peter found himself living in a lie that would change his life and the life of our Father. Denial....betrayal.....TOTAL REJECTION.
Rejection, betrayal and abandonment will leave pain that will scar for a lifetime. The acute pain will dissipate, but the scar is left as a reminder of the confusion, pain, demise of self confidence and self esteem. It is the trophy of death.
I pray that when the Lord returns, He finds me being a devoted wife, a dedicated mother, a diligent daughter, a faithful follower and a virtuous child of his.
John 18:17 (New International Version)
17"You are not one of his disciples, are you?" the girl at the door asked Peter.
He replied, "I am not." (how sad)
